NO TRAILER AVAILABLE.
Recently in a VHS trader group, I stumbled upon this film. Now admittedly, the chances of me liking this are very slim. First off, as you all likely know by now, I have horrid luck with anthologies. Honestly, I am pretty sure I have disliked about 90 percent of the ones I have seen. Then we add another element, which always spells doom for me….MADE FOR TV….Which I have despised about 95 percent of. But that’s not all folks, here is the final kicker, this is made in Canada, and sadly my homeland puts out a lot of shit horror. So this is likely my perfect shit storm.
I chose this on one simple factor, it was shot in the city in which I currently reside, and grew up very close to. It was also made by the old CHCH TV, which makes it huge nostalgic value wise…But oh man…. I feel a lot of regret coming on already…….
The title is also a little off putting….ok, ok enough already, I’ll just watch the damn thing……How bad can it hurt, really??
The film opens with an apparent mob hit in a church, then changes to a creepy, awkward guy, trying to get a date with an attractive co-worker, whom reluctantly goes along with it. He is met at her door by a blind man whom makes him an offer, for a solution to cure all his ills, after being shot down when asking his co-worker to go steady, he seeks out the blind gentleman, an apparent warlock, for a love potion. He creepily uses it to drug his love interest and it works. However, the effects are only short term and the price for the potion gets significantly larger. After being robbed at an ATM, he becomes increasingly desperate to keep his unwilling lover doped up. There is a slight twist to the story towards the end, but it’s nothing shocking and most will figure it out right away. In the end, this chapter was passable and shockingly held my attention.
Okay, now in the wrap around it reveals that the main character involved in all 3 stories are 3 parts of quadruplets….a sad short cut to explain why is same lead in all 3 parts.
The second story revolves around a country family and an oil executive, and involves a kidnapping plot. Okay, this was marketed as horror, and 1st story is very slightly, but this is not at all. This story is uninteresting and has too many minor characters, way overacting. It just becomes a barely coherent mess. Some nice nostalgic moments for me, with an old time country diner, mid 80’s style, and vintage coke machines,but is otherwise a disaster. At one point I am pretty sure the cash the waitress loots him for is actually Canadian Tire Money. There is a hint of interesting towards the end, but all in all, A waste of time, and restored my feelings towards this orgy of horrid subgenres.
The third act is about two brothers who are in on an insurance scheme by faking a death. There is another connecting factor here, besides the lame three parts of quadruplets, but I wont spoil it for you. This last chapter was completely unbearable, beyond boring.
Then comes the finale/wrap around, which is openly spoiled earlier in the film and is pointless and dull. The first act had such potential but man, did this ever go wrong. Avoid, Avoid, AVOID!!!!
I should have trusted my instincts again.
RATING: F- (33%)
PROS: Opening chapter was alright, some good 80s nostalgia in the background, but that is due to the time it was made, not the production.
CONS: Bad wrap around, painfully dull 3rd act, beyond predictable plots, horrid acting.
OK…Tomorrow, I will break my rules I set out last year, will watch and review something that I have already seen, with the stipulation that I have not seen it in 3 years or more. Oh and no more Youtube as a source for films, from now on straight out of my vast collection of unwatched and often unopened and forgotten titles..