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Big Tits Zombie aka Big Tits Dragon Review

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IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1642252/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

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TRAILER POSTED TO YOUTUBE BY USER: TrashyFuckinTrailers

So, the past few weeks I have bought a ton of new DVDs and a couple select BluRays, some of which I will post in a vlog later. Among these was a few of my top must sees, this one being almost the top of the list, come on, few things I love more than well endowed Asian ladies, gore and over the top horror, combined. And it’s 3d, but the old kind, so my 3D samsung is neglected again.

First thing, this is not completely 3D. Not even more than maybe 15 percent is. The title is also a bit of a misnomer, the ladies are not really well endowed, in fact only maybe two of them are. The 3D sequences are pretty pointless and badly done, and very sparse. Some 3D points include a group discussion, and a horrid, lifeless, fully clothed dance sequence, that turns into a female sumo match. Again fully clothes. Then the on and off glasses fucked with my vision…..Although one topless catfight scene was fun with the 3D addition.

The zombies in this are also well, way more capable then in your run of the mill of zombie title. They are trained martial artists, and excel in weapons combat. The dub track, is the same as Premutos: Lord of the Dead, an obvious crap riff track instead, which completely annoyed the hell out of me. It was a series of bad jokes, puns and intentionally odd voices, which Premutos did ok with. Next time Subtitles.

The story follows a group of misfits strippers, at a low rent strip club, whom inadvertently discover a voodoo temple of sorts, in their dressing room. This of course leads to a zombie outbreak, through mystical means, I wont spoil it, but it’s been done wayyyy better before. There are ummm sushi zombies, over the top gore and actually sparse nudity considering the title. One thing I will give it, it has some unpredictable parts, especially the climax, but it is far from a redeeming quality. Although the ending sequence has a nice combination of gratuitous blood and great toplessness, but again, not a redeeming factor.

Effects wise, there are some hit and misses. It’s a blend of CGI and practicals. Some zombie effects look like they are straight out of a low end Hallowe’en store, but then there are splashes of gore that are very well done. There is an awesome scene involving an umbrella, which was nicely done, but again nothing new. Then is the creepy Japanese dwarf, he is really something to behold. Later on there is zombie part of sorts with mystical powers, that has never been done before, again I will not spoil it.

The characters are all completely flat, no pun intended. They are just there and do things, not naked things though again, as title would have you believe. There are two that are completely attractive in an insane level, one alright and rest are mediocre.

In the end a let down. I was expecting so bad it’s good, but it merely came out as a dull. There is only one scene involving nudity, which although was decent, did little to help this. It’s not sexy, not funny, and not gory enough.

RATING: C-(61%)

PROS: The redheaded goth Japanese stripper-Mari Sakurai-: is my new goddess, so beautiful, there are a few decent gore bits here and there. A few alright sight gags I guess. The topless cat fight was pretty damn good. OK I am a guy alright….

CONS: Pointless 3D sequences, some awful zombie effect, horrid rifftrackesque dubbing, horrible sense of humor, severe lapses of logic. Fails in it’s basic sales point.

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