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Ilsa, The Wicked Warden Review

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Trailer posted to Youtube by user CheezyFlicks

Caveat: Again the Cinema Snob reviewed something in the same time frame I did, last case was when I posted The Mutilator a week before, sure there is no connection but kind of cool fact though. Check out his review of it, I am doing a Josh Hadley here, and recommending something I have not yet seen, but sure it will be awesome as always.

Aww, Ilsa, so far you have been the commandant at a German prison camp, the Tigress of Siberia, and the Harem Keeper of the Oils Sheiks. All such wonderful, other the top cheese, nicely seasoned with some awesome display of your rather ample assets. So how could I possibly resist your final exploits? As a warden at a clinic for sexual deviant women, that is really a torture chamber…Yes Please.

Add in Jess Franco, this could be great.

I found this on Ebay, from South Korea, I have my doubts on how official this release is, it’s not from the set that went out of print years ago, and has a pretty generic menu and cover art. No special features either, well except Korean subtitles. However at only $7 including shipping and being the uncut run time, what do I lose?
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So now Ilsa is a redhead huh? Still played by the amazing Dyanne Thorne, whom yet again displays her amazing frame, in it’s full frontal glory, gratuitously. We are also introduced to her partner in crime, a very well endowed and extremely attractive inmate, Juana. Strangely similar to Wanda, Wanda the Wicked Warden, is an alternate title, so a misnomer perhaps in the same vein as Igor and the Lunatics.
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The plot opens with a rather easy escape of an inmate, well patient supposedly, but in reality inmate, thru the South American jungle. After she arrives wounded on a local doctor’s front step, he attempts to save her, but is interrupted by Ilsa and her cronies. After suspecting something is amiss and being turned down by his board to investigate the clinic, he meets the inmates sister, whom infiltrates the clinic Emmanuelle style.

Ok, this is not horror, but remember folks this was originally a horror and exploitation blog, so yeah.

There is an early scene in this, involving accupuncture for sexual purposes, that is pretty damn entertaining. There is a lot of nudity in this, and some light S&M. Of course a lot of shower scenes too, this is the cleanest prison ever, well inmate wise.

Of course, being an Ilsa film, there is simulated lady parts torture, but this time it’s completely offscreen and uses shock therapy and well, acid. The heated rod of doom in the initial film still holds up as the most brutal of it’s kind in the series. There is not a great deal of plot here, mostly a mash up of lesbian innuendo and softcore scenes.

Unlike it’s predecessors, there is a shockingly low amount of violence, and it’s pretty badly done, as Jess Franco tends to do.
There is an especially awful shooting scene, on par with Karate Girl’s famous now viral ending.

Still though, Dyanne lights up every scene, so awesomely over the top in her sadistic manners, and faux German accent. This was not made to be good, it’s more cinematic doritos. Much like doritos, while a lot of us love them, a lot more don’t.

RATING: B (75%)

PROS: Entertaining as hell, but also dumb as hell. Lot’s of well endowed nudity, Dyanne Thorne is perfectly over the top as always. Cinematic doritos of the Cool Ranch variety for me really.

CONS: Some awful camera work, most violence is offscreen. There is a slight side plot involving political prisoners and terrorism, and well snuff movies but it’s barely mentioned, and lends nothing to the plot. Some stock footage at the end in place of gore was lame.

This is the cover art for my copy, pretty sure this is a bootleg.
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