The Editor Review

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IMDB:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3067274/

 

TRAILER:

TRAILER UPLOADED TO YOUTUBE BY SCREAM FACTORY

Sorry about large sized trailer and poster, but I am not in sizing or editing mood.

So, Shudder, so far decent start with 31,  I was very pleased to see Astron 6 titles, I own the multipack, I have yet to watch it, been 4 years?  It recently moved to my desk when I was prepping for my next move.  They also have Manborg, and Father’s Day, which I own, but I was so stoked to see The Editor, amongst titles, part of reason I took this membership.  So in the void til Divorced Dad, if it ever does come out, here is my other must see.

I am not huge on Giallos.  I have dabbled in the genre, but have issues often with them dragging or being cookie cutters to each other, so nervous on this one.  Astron 6 tho, suspecting will be batshit crazy and fun.

A giallo film editor, has a series of murders going on around him, cutting and editing his newest masterpiece.  People are dispatched by the regular offscreen, black gloved killer, all leading back to the editor.

That is all I will say for plot, there are a lot of twists and a what the fuck ending, I would not give away.  This is a well made, fun, often hilarious film.  Nicely splattery with loads of well done gore, and a lot of nudity.  It captures the perfect feel of the early 80s giallo, including the dubbed over italian accents badly done.  I won’t lie, true to it’s source, this film is a bit of a slow burn, for quite awhile, but it more than makes up for it, much like the majority of it’s source.  Odd sex, in jokes, a scene inspired by Hitch-Hike parodied well, and not terribly predictable climax, with an ending, that is completely unpredictable.

I was sure I would like this, shocked it exceeded expectations.  Pacing is only issue really, which is intentional as goes with the genre.

RATING: A- (81%)

PROS:

Has a fun sense of humor, likeable lead, is very well adapted to it’s genre and time,  very violent and gory, well done effects, some great nudity.

CONS:

Drags for about 20 minutes total.

Shudder is really starting to be worth it..No issues with this whatsoever

 

 

 

 

The Pit Review

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IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086113/?ref_=nv_sr_2

TRAILER:

TRAILER UPLOADED TO YOUTUBE BY USER: redleaf Klassics

Here I go again, Canadian horror, blind watch. These have not gone well for me, basically ever. However, the cover art for this, not the poster above, but the one from the video store, which sadly is not online anywhere, has always stood in my mind. It seemed to always be side by side with The Keep, strangely, which I believe is also Canadian horror, and has been a staple of my must see list forever.

Uh oh, it’s an evil child movie. The odds on me enduring this have got a lot worse now. I really don’t like the genre. Besides The Omen, I don’t think I have really seen anything of it’s sort that I found better than tolerable. This is the perfect storm of Jason hatred, but I will give this a fair shake.

Well a character that is a complete asshole is named Fred Phelps, but that is a happy accident. Plot wise, a socially outcast, disturbed 12 year old, finds a hole in the woods, inhabited by Tra-lalas, some kind of ape like, maybe bigfoot things. He befriends them by feeding them and uses them for an instrument of revenge.

Ok, our main Jamie, is a creepy little bastard, he even blackmails someones aunt into undressing so he can take pictures. He is perverse, annoying and spoiled. So no redeeming qualities. The people he sacrifices to the creatures, I refuse to use that name again, are equally unlikeable. They are also dispatched completely offscreen. So barely any gore or violence here.

Why is this R rated? Sure, there are two scenes with boobs, for a few seconds, but that’s it.

Other than fleeting glimpses here and there, the creatures are not onscreen until the last 20 minutes, and they are awful, bad gorilla type suits with flashlight eyes.

After failing to have any tension for 90 percent of the film, it then descends into bad comedic moments, as if it gives up. This only furthered to make it damn near unwatchable for me. This really should have ended up 20 minutes early, The climax was yet another tone shift, this time lethally serious and had an awful cliched ending. There is also a massive loose end that is never explained.

RATING: D- (51%)

PROS: I saw it for free, it is on a popular, legal video site – I will not say which, but guarantee -you- know it, It went relatively fast. I liked the scenery it reminded me of home, but that is no big accomplishment

CONS: Annoying lead, annoying victims, no tension, no violence, very little gore – 1 scene really. Why in the hell is this R rated. There is a stupid line about why you shouldn’t bully people by the lead, whom has been killing everyone and was an annoying little prick that got what he deserved.

DAY/FILM 23: Raiders of The Living Dead Review

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IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138050/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

TRAILER:

UPLOADED TO YOUTUBE BY USER: Nitro64819

I have never encountered this film before, but being a Canadian made horror, I have very little hopes for this. Last Canadian zombie movie I can recall was the bland, mediocre Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things. Uhoh this appears to be shot on shitteo. Great…

Although, I must confess…The title is pretty epic.

First of the opening theme to this is wonderfully cheesy in the 1980s way and WILL STICK IN YOUR HEAD SO DAMN BADLY!!
Scott Schwartz, the child actor from A Christmas Story, whom later gained infamy from going into porn, stars in this..Another bad sign.

Wow, early on in this, a kid inadvertently makes a laser disc player into a weapon, accidentally killing his hamster. Hey there was a Citation 2 in this, that was my first car. Moving ahead, a reporter stumbles upon an ancient secret from a prison in a small town, and the dead come back to life, setting up a final battle with laser kid. The story is very 1980s zombie cliched…nothing too new here, plot wise. The characters are 1980s staples, an elderly doctor, 2 kids and a streetwise reporter….

Wow, the zombie effects are really bad, think dollar store Hallowe’en masks. Oddly though, there are some bits of well done gore effects here and there. There is some horrid acting, actually almost all the acting is bad really. As well, the timing of this film is really brutal, with a lot of filler, sometimes 10 minutes or more, with nothing really going on. There is a lot of day for night shots, badly done, an odd dream sequence, and some major lapses in logic and plot holes galore. The laser disc player cum laser gun effects are bad, and did nothing to local bullies but dispatch living dead in a single shot anywhere. There is also massive lighting issues since the over use of black filter.

This had a lot of potential as mindless fun, but turned into boring and frustrating very quickly.

RATING C-(62%)

PROS: Some rare moments of good gore, was a fun idea done poorly

CONS: Lighting, lag, lame zombies, and damn the theme song sticks in your head. By the end, I just didn’t care anymore, I wanted it over already, not a good quality. And wow was the end ever bland.

Day 2: Greedy Terror AKA: Shock Chamber Review

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0350119/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

NO TRAILER AVAILABLE.

Recently in a VHS trader group, I stumbled upon this film. Now admittedly, the chances of me liking this are very slim. First off, as you all likely know by now, I have horrid luck with anthologies. Honestly, I am pretty sure I have disliked about 90 percent of the ones I have seen. Then we add another element, which always spells doom for me….MADE FOR TV….Which I have despised about 95 percent of. But that’s not all folks, here is the final kicker, this is made in Canada, and sadly my homeland puts out a lot of shit horror. So this is likely my perfect shit storm.

I chose this on one simple factor, it was shot in the city in which I currently reside, and grew up very close to. It was also made by the old CHCH TV, which makes it huge nostalgic value wise…But oh man…. I feel a lot of regret coming on already…….

The title is also a little off putting….ok, ok enough already, I’ll just watch the damn thing……How bad can it hurt, really??

The film opens with an apparent mob hit in a church, then changes to a creepy, awkward guy, trying to get a date with an attractive co-worker, whom reluctantly goes along with it. He is met at her door by a blind man whom makes him an offer, for a solution to cure all his ills, after being shot down when asking his co-worker to go steady, he seeks out the blind gentleman, an apparent warlock, for a love potion. He creepily uses it to drug his love interest and it works. However, the effects are only short term and the price for the potion gets significantly larger. After being robbed at an ATM, he becomes increasingly desperate to keep his unwilling lover doped up. There is a slight twist to the story towards the end, but it’s nothing shocking and most will figure it out right away. In the end, this chapter was passable and shockingly held my attention.

Okay, now in the wrap around it reveals that the main character involved in all 3 stories are 3 parts of quadruplets….a sad short cut to explain why is same lead in all 3 parts.

The second story revolves around a country family and an oil executive, and involves a kidnapping plot. Okay, this was marketed as horror, and 1st story is very slightly, but this is not at all. This story is uninteresting and has too many minor characters, way overacting. It just becomes a barely coherent mess. Some nice nostalgic moments for me, with an old time country diner, mid 80’s style, and vintage coke machines,but is otherwise a disaster. At one point I am pretty sure the cash the waitress loots him for is actually Canadian Tire Money. There is a hint of interesting towards the end, but all in all, A waste of time, and restored my feelings towards this orgy of horrid subgenres.

The third act is about two brothers who are in on an insurance scheme by faking a death. There is another connecting factor here, besides the lame three parts of quadruplets, but I wont spoil it for you. This last chapter was completely unbearable, beyond boring.

Then comes the finale/wrap around, which is openly spoiled earlier in the film and is pointless and dull. The first act had such potential but man, did this ever go wrong. Avoid, Avoid, AVOID!!!!

I should have trusted my instincts again.

RATING: F- (33%)

PROS: Opening chapter was alright, some good 80s nostalgia in the background, but that is due to the time it was made, not the production.

CONS: Bad wrap around, painfully dull 3rd act, beyond predictable plots, horrid acting.

OK…Tomorrow, I will break my rules I set out last year, will watch and review something that I have already seen, with the stipulation that I have not seen it in 3 years or more. Oh and no more Youtube as a source for films, from now on straight out of my vast collection of unwatched and often unopened and forgotten titles..